It happened. God’s of Egypt eclipsed its second year as an official work and, if anyone remembers it wasn’t really that well received. However, we have had over 700 days to let this potentially settle into its own little corner. Maybe it’s achieved the status of a cult classic? Or maybe it’s still just hot garbage. Let’s dig in.
I’ll start off with the most generic and bland summary I can muster, because God forbid I spoil something. This movie is about a betrayal in the golden age of Egypt where the Gods live amongst men. The disgraced God has to begrudgingly work alongside humans to reclaim the throne, and heck, maybe he’ll learn something along the way. He runs into some unexpected obstacles on his journey, but they are solved as quickly as they come.
If that right there didn’t grab your interest immediately then maybe these mega star actors will sway your fancy: Gerard Butler and the guy who plays Jaime Lannister in Game of Thrones. Remember too, they were cast to play Egyptians. Last time I checked Gerard Butler has a fairly distinct, lovely Scottish accent. Outside of another white washing in Hollywood this movie carries with it a plethora of other major problems.
One of those problems is the CGI. Remember when the technology of CGI was new and innovative and Hollywood chose to do it at every opportunity rather than doing something practical that would probably end up looking better anyway? Then also when everybody said the CGI didn’t look that great? God’s of Egypt doesn’t. Not to say that CGI is inherently bad, but there is a pretty big difference in CGI for the sake of CGI and tasteful CGI. GoE lies a lot nearer to the former.
Then there is the actual story. It is a typical hero’s journey and that in it of itself isn’t bad, but it felt like they only knew how the movie was going to start and end and all the stuff in between they would figure out along the way. Each different direction the movie took didn’t make much sense. The pacing was poor, there wasn’t a real sense of urgency and it was repetitive. The characters themselves are also not the greatest. They are cookie cutter stereotypes that could be found in any other generic action movie.
All of this being said, I liked it. When movies are this bad the weaknesses are also their strengths. I could laugh, I could tune out for twenty minutes or if I had something better to do I could just turn it off. Sometimes there is nothing better than the mind numbing entertainment of a bad movie. God’s of Egypt, you will always hold a special place in my heart, and to anybody reading I highly recommend it.